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Posted 2005-01-09 05:24:29 by
Jim Crawford
These “grapples,” man. The first syllable is pronounced “grape,” they come in packs of four for about $4, and they're described by the tagline “looks like an apple, tastes like a grape.” A more honest tagline would be “completely indistinguishable from an apple, except by price.” Fuck. I'm wondering, now, whether grocery stores tend to have return policies. And now I'm wondering whether they picked an existing word as a name in order to make it difficult to find out about the scam via search engines. Hm. Evidently it's allegedly done by dipping the apples in some sort of patented yet secret grape-flavored space-age polymer that somehow permeates the apple skin. Ten years ago, I would've said something here about how you'd think they wouldn't bother to patent an invention that was completely ineffective.
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